wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
