id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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