Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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