Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
