all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
