Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
