do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
