I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
honey bunches of taint.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
