I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
