Sry I called you an 8
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
