Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
