people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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