please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
