They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
