That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
