he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
