scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
