my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
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