The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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