i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the day after is always just damage control
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
