Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Semen is not good for contacts.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
