Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
