i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
