Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
