i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
