He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
