You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
