areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
