i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
