He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
