she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
