do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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