Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
