I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
