How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I will be naked everywhere
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
