you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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