I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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