fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
