Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
