Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
