Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
