whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm getting married
To pizza
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
