he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
