8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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