He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
