Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i've created a new STD.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
