Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
