he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
