their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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