Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
