Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
