Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
A bitchslap is in order.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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