I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
