I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
